10 thoughts everyone has during a run
10 thoughts everyone has during a run
“My lungs are on fire!”
Running is perhaps one of the most singularly liberating and death-inducing ‘pleasures’ we get in life. On the one hand your endorphins are at an all-time high, you’re on top of the world. On the other, your chest feels like it’s about to self-incinerate. Highs and lows, right?
These are all the thoughts that run through your mind while you trample the pavement.
1. ‘Where in the world are my running leggings?’
Your first thought about running probably starts while you prepare for it. Of course you have like nine million pairs of leggings but you can’t find that particular The Upside pair that are breathable, lightweight and stay on your bloody hips while you sweat it out.
2. ‘Man, this is easier than I remember’
At this point you’ve run about the distance of a Priceline aisle and are feeling pretty confident. You’re barely sweating and you still look hot AF as you eye off potential baes running in the opposite direction.
You’re fit, you’re flirty and you can fly like the wind.
3. ‘That bird is like super random’
This one might depend where you’re running, but if you find yourself on a leafy lane or beach track you’re likely to encounter some wildlife. At this stage in your run you’re not that tired and are just trying to focus on anything else except the task at hand.
Like that pelican on the rock that’s staring at you like you’re Satan reincarnate.
4. ‘Nah man, I’m still good’
You’re starting to get red in the face and the first beads of sweat roll down your face. It would be fine if that’s as sweaty as you were going to get, but you know Niagara Falls will soon follow.
Puffing slightly as you go up a hill you mentally prepare yourself with mantras like ‘My legs are stronger than steel’ and the motivational words of Thomas the Tank Engine, ‘I think I can, I think I can’.
5. ‘My lungs are on fire!’
Your body has become a furnace. Honestly, if you got any hotter you’d be the sun and you’d burn all those other people on the track running faster than you without breaking a sweat.
Which, on second thought, actually sounds like a glorious plan at this point.
6. ‘Yeah, erm, my shoelace needs to be..umm..retied’
You’ve reached your wits end and are seriously regretting your choice to swap the next episode of Riverdale with a beach-side run.
You stop under the pretence that something has gone seriously wrong with your shoe and take deep gulping breaths, cursing your lack of fitness.
7. ‘Back at it again with the black Nikes’
You’re back and ready to make a go of this thing. You’re flawless and nobody can stop you. Slowly that feeling of combustion in your chest becomes normalised and your breathing regulates. Surely not….yes, you’re doing it! Success!
8. ‘Slow pokes and path hogs can burn in hell’
You’re a speed demon and you know it, but all these tiny children and coffee-in-hand walkers are getting in your way. You want to run them down and teach them a thing or two about staying on the left side of the path like a good law-abiding citizen.
But you’ll probably just huff and puff heavily behind them while jogging on the spot until they get the message.
9. ‘Well, now I regret wearing a grey t-shirt’
After the whole legging debacle you settled for your fave grey tee and shot out the door, forgetting that unlike the Lorna Jane singlets, you don’t just sparkle, you full on sweat.
You might have some really attractive sweat patches across your back, or the dreaded ‘under boob sweat’ that you’ll really hope people will assume is because you’re wearing a wet bikini, but know in your heart of hearts that they aren’t.
10. ‘If I lay here, If I just lay here’
The haunting guitar riff of Snow Patrol’s Chasing Cars rings out in your head as you collapse on the grass ending your short lived flirtation at joining the ‘fit club’.